The finest gift you can give anyone is encouragement. Yet, almost no one gets the encouragement they need to grow to their full potential. If everyone received the encouragement they need to grow, the genius in most everyone would blossom and the world would produce abundance beyond our wildest dreams.--Sidney Madwed
* Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.--Dr. Leo Buscaglia * Charles Schwab, the successful businessman, said, "I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism." Everyone wants and needs to be affirmed for his accomplishments. A little boy playing darts with his father said, "Let's play darts. I'll throw and you say 'Wonderful!'" That's what the encouraging person does for others. We tend to become what the most important person in our life thinks we will become. Think the best, believe the best, and express the best in your children. Your affirmation will not only make you more attractive to them, but you will help play an important part in their personal development. —John C. Maxwell (excerpted from the bookBe a People Person: Effective Leadership Through Effective Relationships) * The movie "Stand and Deliver," tells the true story of Jaime Escalante, an immigrant from Bolivia who taught at Garfield High School in inner-city Los Angeles. He accomplished remarkable results with students known to be especially difficult to teach. One story not depicted in the movie was the one about "the other Johnny." Escalante had two students named Johnny in his class. One was a straight A+ student; the other was an F+ student. The A+ student was easy to get along with, cooperated with teachers, worked hard, and was popular with his peers. The F+ Johnny was sullen, angry, uncooperative, disruptive, and in general was not popular with anyone. One evening at a PTA meeting, an excited mother approached Escalante and asked, "How is my Johnny doing?" Escalante figured that the F+ Johnny's mother would not be asking such a question, so he described in glowing terms the A+ Johnny, saying he was a wonderful student, popular with his class, cooperative and a hard worker, and would undoubtedly go far in life. The next morning, Johnny—the F+ one—approached Escalante and said, "I really appreciate what you said to my mother about me, and I just want you to know that I'm going to work real hard to make what you said the truth." By the end of that grade period, he was a C- student, and by the end of the school year, he was on the honor roll. If we treat our children as if they were "the other Johnny," chances are dramatically better that they will, in fact, improve their performance. Someone rightly said that more people have been encouraged to succeed than have been nagged to succeed. This example makes us wonder what would happen to all the "other Johnnies" of the world if someone said something really nice about them. —Zig Ziglar
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Parenting has never been easy, but all parents have one great thing going for them from day one: Their children love and look up to them more than anyone else in the world. This is an important part of the grand scheme of things, because while your children are a gift from Heaven, they are a work in progress. It’s your job to help them grow into loving, responsible adults. The love and respect your children feel for you are inborn, but they aren’t static. They increase or diminish day by day according to how you interact with your child, so don’t betray their trust. Set the kind of example they will be proud to follow. If you want your children to be outgoing and genuinely concerned about others, be that way yourself. If you want them to be unselfish, be unselfish. If you want them to be honest, be honest. If you want them to be optimistic and solution-oriented, let them see you approach life’s challenges and disappointments positively. If you want them to have thankful hearts, thank and praise God for His goodness at every turn. *** Try to set a good example.—not of some kind of a perfect, sinless saint which your child may feel he could never measure up to, but of an honest, happy, humble example of a friend and loving parent, someone whom kids can look up to and trust. You have to try to be what you want your children to be. Children are great mimics, and this is largely how they learn, by imitation. Children seldom forget what they see. They go more by what they see than by what they hear, more by your actions than just your words. Children will learn more from your actions and even your attitudes than they will from what you say! Think of what you would like to be in the eyes of your child and be that parent! Courtesy Aurora Productions / TFI. Used with permission.
With all that there is to do in your busy lives, it’s sometimes easy to see your children as just one more thing you must take care of, and if you’re faced with a particularly hectic day, the simplest course of action can seem to be that of letting them entertain themselves with toys, videos, or games, while you take care of the business of the day. What you need to realize is that what you pour into your children each day is what helps to prepare them for their future. The love, concern, discipline, and attention that you fill up your child’s life with, is what helps them to mature into the person they’ll become. If you are too busy to give your children the time and love that they need, you’ll miss out on one of life’s best investments; while you may meet other expectations of your day, those things will not live on eternally. It’s what you pour into your children that lives beyond today. You will always have work to take care of—the house to clean, a pile of clothes to launder, and bills to pay—but you won’t always have your children with you, and you won’t be able to regain the moments you lost “because you were too busy.” Every day, every moment, counts in helping to build your child’s future, and making them who they will become. The more you pour into your children, the more they will learn. You can use every opportunity to teach them something; and you can fill up their lives with happiness by the zeal and inspiration you exude in the way you live your life. Caring for your children can also teach you many things personally; in fact, many a wise soul has been taught a lesson through the sincerity, love, and simplicity of a child. Always remember that the years of childhood are precious; you’re helping to shape your child’s future by what you give to them, so make it count, make it worthwhile. You’ll never regret it. © TFI. Used with permission. By Bil Keane In the nearly 30 years that I’ve drawn the syndicated cartoon “The Family Circus,” I’ve learned a lot about love. I’ve found it in my own family, and frequently what I’ve observed has provided the basis for a cartoon with Billy, Dolly, Jeffy or PJ. But I make no secret about it—when it comes to love, my greatest inspiration, and the model for “Mommy,” has been my own wife, Thel. We have five children (and now four grandchildren), and when they were younger, people often wondered how Thel managed with so many. I often wondered too. Whether she was soothing the hurt of a scraped knee, sitting in the audience at a school play, or helping with homework at the kitchen table, Thel was always there for us. And the more she did for us, the more she seemed to have to give us. That was how I came upon one of God’s paradoxical laws of love. Real love doesn’t come in limited, finite amounts. It can’t be used up so there is no more. Instead, in a manner that defies physics, the more love you give, the more you’re able to give. Like enthusiasm that fosters enthusiasm, kindness that inspires kindness, cheerfulness that inevitably spreads, love increases when it’s given away. I tried to put all that in one of my cartoons. There is Mommy, a full bag of groceries in one hand, her purse in the other, and Billy, Dolly, Jeffy and PJ tugging at her knees. The woman at the left asks the question, “How do you divide your love among four children?” And Mommy’s answer, real words to grow on: “I don’t divide it. I multiply it.” ***** The Essence of Love All the best things in life come packaged in a ribbon of risk. You untie the gift, you assume the risk, and equally, the joy. Parenthood is like that. Marriage is like that. Friendship is like that. In order to experience life in the full sense, you expose yourself to a bottomless pit of vulnerability. That is the essence of true love.—Kristin Armstrong I received a letter in which a man told me of his childhood experiences. He had been a juvenile delinquent as a preteen and teen, but a dramatic change took place when his father began spending more time with him. Here are excerpts from this man's letter: "From the age of eight to fourteen I was a very bad boy. My father would leave for work at 3:00 in the afternoon, and come home at 3:00 in the morning. He was asleep when I got up, and by the time I got home from school he had gone to work. I rarely saw him, except for a few minutes on weekends. "I got into lots of trouble. I stole everything I needed or wanted, including cigarettes, candy, food, and money. I was incorrigible, and did poorly in school. "At fourteen I was arrested for stealing again and sent to a reform school. My father's first reaction was to be angry with me, but later he came to the realization that he had been partly to blame for not being more of a father to me. He reevaluated his life and decided to help me. "He quit his nighttime job and took a daytime one that paid less, so he could spend time with me every day. When I came home from school, he was there. He took an interest in how I was doing in school, and helped me with my homework. We joined a men and boys club. Instead of me hanging out at a dingy pool hall, we went together to a recreation center where we played pool, handball, and basketball together--all the things I liked to do. He bought me a season pass at the local golf course, and took me golfing three or four times a week. We were together all the time. "As my father showed me love and understanding, it changed my life. My grades at school improved until I made the honor roll. I made new friends who were studious and didn't get in trouble. I had been tough on the outside, but on the inside I had been crying out for love, attention, and companionship. My father's love, as demonstrated by the time he spent with me, was the key." All children need a father or a father figure--someone they know admires them, has faith in them, enjoys their company, and looks forward to being with them. All children need someone who they know will be there to feel for them and pray for them when they're deeply disappointed, to hold on to them when they're about to lose hope, and to celebrate with them when their dreams come true. Are your children getting that kind of love? We often see stories on TV of otherwise ordinary people--teachers, pastors, police, etc.--who have helped bring about remarkable changes in young people's lives, even the worst of delinquents, because they gave them their time. One such news spot featured a woman who had opened a home for troubled kids--runaways, castoffs, prostitutes, gang members--those who fall through the cracks of society. In the interview she said, "The children that I serve are the most unwanted children, the rejects of the nation." When the interviewer asked some of the kids what they were doing before they came to the home they answered, "Taking drugs." "Fighting a lot." "Pimping girls." "Shooting people for fun." When talking about the kids, the woman said, "They've lost all hope. They've lost trust in adults. We adults are too busy. We don't listen anymore. No one has time for the children anymore." When asked what the children need, she responded, "These guys? It's a very simple formula. You know what these kids really need?--Motherly love. They want role models. They want people who will be honest with them. They want someone to discipline them. They want someone who can teach them responsibility, consequences. Someone to hold them, hug them. I don't give up on them. If you teach them to give up easily, they'll give up." One of the older boys hugged this woman and said, "She's my mom. Not by blood, but in a sense, she's still my mom. She takes care of me." When the kids were asked what changes had come about in their lives as a result of this woman, the meanest-looking kid, the one who used to shoot people for fun, said, "Look inside of us. We've got hope. We've got dreams. We care too. Now I want to go to college." This woman's closing message to parents was: "Love your children. Don't give up on them. Love them till it hurts. That's what love is all about--loving unconditionally, till it hurts!" We can easily lose sight of the power of one individual. We can depend too much on society as a whole--its institutions, government, schools--so we as individuals don't feel the need to take responsibility for children, whether our own or some whose paths simply cross ours, who may need us. You could be part of God's plan of love and care for a young life. Your love, concern, and friendship could make a world of difference! Written by Maria David and reprinted from Activated magazine. Used with permission. Abigail Van Buren (1918-), "Dear Abby"
Oh, heavenly Father, make me a better parent. Teach me to understand my children, to listen patiently to what they have to say, and to answer all their questions kindly. Keep me from interrupting them or contradicting them. Make me as courteous to them as I would have them be to me. Forbid that I should ever laugh at their mistakes, or resort to shame or ridicule when they displease me. May I never punish them for my own selfish satisfaction or to show my power. Let me not tempt my child to lie or steal. And guide me hour by hour that I may demonstrate by all I say and do that honesty produces happiness. Reduce, I pray, the meanness in me. And when I am out of sorts, help me, O Lord, to hold my tongue. May I ever be mindful that my children are children and I should not expect of them the judgment of adults. Let me not rob them of the opportunity to wait on themselves and to make decisions. Bless me with the bigness to grant them all their reasonable requests, and the courage to deny them privileges I know will do them harm. Make me fair and just and kind. And fit me, O Lord, to be loved and respected and imitated by my children. Amen. Dear Dad,
These are some of the thoughts that come to mind as I sit down to write you for Father’s Day. I hope you know how much I love, admire, and appreciate you. For all those times when the outlook was bleak, but you held on and kept trusting Jesus to pull us through—thank you. For making time, despite your work deadline that day, to help me finish my project for Bible class when I was in the 2nd grade (I still have that booklet!)—thank you. For not getting impatient over my childish questions and nonsensical conversation starters—thank you. For all the memorable trips you took us on and for lugging all our extra baggage—thank you. For the tasty little healthful treats you brought home for us kids, which we always looked forward to and enjoyed so much—thank you. For being the one to take me shoe shopping and for not stopping till we found the perfect pair—thank you. For doctoring all those scraped knees, splinters, and maladies of every sort, and for dispensing all that extra attention and moral support in the process—thank you. For all the amusing and animated tales of your childhood—thank you. For the bedtime stories, which were always a high point of my day—thank you. For making me feel safe and secure no matter where in the world we were, just because you were there—thank you. For all the great basketball and softball games we played together when those were my passion—thank you. For the times when you had to put your foot down and make me toe the line and abide by our family rules (now that I have kids of my own, I know how tough that is, and how important)—thank you. For believing in me when it was time for me to spread my wings and fly, but I was sure I’d bungle it—thank you. For teaching me how to negotiate the rental contract on my first place away from home—thank you. For being a fun and adventurous grandpa to my kids—thank you. For those one-on-one times you spent with me, in spite of your busy schedule and long to-do lists, which always meant the world to me—thank you. Your daughter Written by Angie Frouman. Published originally in Activated Magazine. Used with permission. My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.—Clarence Budington Kelland
* * * My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys."—Harmon Killebrew * * * A father carries pictures where his money used to be.—Author unknown * * * When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.—Mark Twain, "Old Times on the Mississippi," Atlantic Monthly, 1874 * * * The greatest gift I ever had Came from God; I call him Dad! —Author unknown * * * Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad.—Author unknown * * * Character is largely caught, and the father and the home should be the great sources of character infection.—Frank H. Cheley * * * You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once.—Polish proverb * * * A man's children and his garden both reflect the amount of weeding done during the growing season.—Author unknown * * * Father of fathers, make me one, A fit example for a son. —Douglas Malloch * * * Directly after God in heaven comes a Papa.— Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart as a boy * * * Noble fathers have noble children.—Euripides * * * I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottoms of his feet, a man who came here [to the U.S., from Italy] uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language, who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example.—Mario Cuomo * * * A good father is worth a hundred teachers.--Jean Jacques Rousseau * * * Until you have a son of your own, you will never know the joy, the love beyond feeling that resonates in the heart of a father as he looks upon his son. You will never know the sense of honor that makes a man want to be more than he is and to pass something good and hopeful into the hands of his son.--Kent Nerburn, Letters to My Son * * * Originally published in the Activated magazine. Used with permission. |
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