I received a letter in which a man told me of his childhood experiences. He had been a juvenile delinquent as a preteen and teen, but a dramatic change took place when his father began spending more time with him. Here are excerpts from this man's letter: "From the age of eight to fourteen I was a very bad boy. My father would leave for work at 3:00 in the afternoon, and come home at 3:00 in the morning. He was asleep when I got up, and by the time I got home from school he had gone to work. I rarely saw him, except for a few minutes on weekends. "I got into lots of trouble. I stole everything I needed or wanted, including cigarettes, candy, food, and money. I was incorrigible, and did poorly in school. "At fourteen I was arrested for stealing again and sent to a reform school. My father's first reaction was to be angry with me, but later he came to the realization that he had been partly to blame for not being more of a father to me. He reevaluated his life and decided to help me. "He quit his nighttime job and took a daytime one that paid less, so he could spend time with me every day. When I came home from school, he was there. He took an interest in how I was doing in school, and helped me with my homework. We joined a men and boys club. Instead of me hanging out at a dingy pool hall, we went together to a recreation center where we played pool, handball, and basketball together--all the things I liked to do. He bought me a season pass at the local golf course, and took me golfing three or four times a week. We were together all the time. "As my father showed me love and understanding, it changed my life. My grades at school improved until I made the honor roll. I made new friends who were studious and didn't get in trouble. I had been tough on the outside, but on the inside I had been crying out for love, attention, and companionship. My father's love, as demonstrated by the time he spent with me, was the key." All children need a father or a father figure--someone they know admires them, has faith in them, enjoys their company, and looks forward to being with them. All children need someone who they know will be there to feel for them and pray for them when they're deeply disappointed, to hold on to them when they're about to lose hope, and to celebrate with them when their dreams come true. Are your children getting that kind of love? We often see stories on TV of otherwise ordinary people--teachers, pastors, police, etc.--who have helped bring about remarkable changes in young people's lives, even the worst of delinquents, because they gave them their time. One such news spot featured a woman who had opened a home for troubled kids--runaways, castoffs, prostitutes, gang members--those who fall through the cracks of society. In the interview she said, "The children that I serve are the most unwanted children, the rejects of the nation." When the interviewer asked some of the kids what they were doing before they came to the home they answered, "Taking drugs." "Fighting a lot." "Pimping girls." "Shooting people for fun." When talking about the kids, the woman said, "They've lost all hope. They've lost trust in adults. We adults are too busy. We don't listen anymore. No one has time for the children anymore." When asked what the children need, she responded, "These guys? It's a very simple formula. You know what these kids really need?--Motherly love. They want role models. They want people who will be honest with them. They want someone to discipline them. They want someone who can teach them responsibility, consequences. Someone to hold them, hug them. I don't give up on them. If you teach them to give up easily, they'll give up." One of the older boys hugged this woman and said, "She's my mom. Not by blood, but in a sense, she's still my mom. She takes care of me." When the kids were asked what changes had come about in their lives as a result of this woman, the meanest-looking kid, the one who used to shoot people for fun, said, "Look inside of us. We've got hope. We've got dreams. We care too. Now I want to go to college." This woman's closing message to parents was: "Love your children. Don't give up on them. Love them till it hurts. That's what love is all about--loving unconditionally, till it hurts!" We can easily lose sight of the power of one individual. We can depend too much on society as a whole--its institutions, government, schools--so we as individuals don't feel the need to take responsibility for children, whether our own or some whose paths simply cross ours, who may need us. You could be part of God's plan of love and care for a young life. Your love, concern, and friendship could make a world of difference! Written by Maria David and reprinted from Activated magazine. Used with permission.
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If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everything in its place, But have not love, I am a housekeeper, not a homemaker. If I live for waxing, polishing, and decorative achievements, But have not love, my children learn of cleanliness, not godliness. Love leaves the dust in search of a child’s laugh. Love smiles at the tiny fingerprints on a newly cleaned window. Love wipes away the tears before it wipes up the spilled milk. Love picks up the child before it picks up the toys. Love is present through the trials. Love reprimands, reproves, and is responsive. Love crawls with the baby, walks with the toddler, runs with the child, Then stands aside to let the child walk into adulthood. Love is the key that opens salvation’s message to a child’s heart. Before I became a mother, I took glory in my house of perfection. Now I glory in God’s perfection of my children. As a mother, there is much I must teach my children, But the greatest of all is love. —Author unknown (based on the Bible, 1 Corinthians chapter 13) Abigail Van Buren (1918-), "Dear Abby"
Oh, heavenly Father, make me a better parent. Teach me to understand my children, to listen patiently to what they have to say, and to answer all their questions kindly. Keep me from interrupting them or contradicting them. Make me as courteous to them as I would have them be to me. Forbid that I should ever laugh at their mistakes, or resort to shame or ridicule when they displease me. May I never punish them for my own selfish satisfaction or to show my power. Let me not tempt my child to lie or steal. And guide me hour by hour that I may demonstrate by all I say and do that honesty produces happiness. Reduce, I pray, the meanness in me. And when I am out of sorts, help me, O Lord, to hold my tongue. May I ever be mindful that my children are children and I should not expect of them the judgment of adults. Let me not rob them of the opportunity to wait on themselves and to make decisions. Bless me with the bigness to grant them all their reasonable requests, and the courage to deny them privileges I know will do them harm. Make me fair and just and kind. And fit me, O Lord, to be loved and respected and imitated by my children. Amen. A mother's love is one of the best examples of My love for My children, because a godly mother loves unconditionally, continually, and despite the circumstances. It is a special love that I place in each mother's heart because I knew that through the love that mothers have for their children, all of you would better understand My love.
You may feel incapable in your task as a mother. You see your faults and know that you aren't perfect. But, oh, there is so much beauty surrounding a mother! You mothers resemble Me in the way you unselfishly give, sometimes without seeming to receive much in return, and in the way you pray for your children and support their dreams. I knew when I gave you children that there would be times of disappointment, desperation, and heartbreak, but I also knew that there would be times of great joy and love beyond measure, and that in your children you would find much of the meaning to your life. Being a mother requires a lot, but it also has its rewards—the joy of holding a newborn, the smile of a little child, the happy moments shared as a family, the appreciation and respect shown by your grown child, and the love exchanged all along the way. These and many more are My blessings for all that you give up to be a mother. And one day here in Heaven you will receive the ultimate reward for all that you have given. It will be the greatest family reunion ever, untarnished by tears or earthly limitations, where unveiled love will envelop you. In that moment you will experience the rewards of motherhood to the full. A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.--Tenneva Jordan
The best medicine in the world is a mother’s kiss.--Anonymous Mama was my greatest teacher—a teacher of compassion, love, and fearlessness. If love is sweet as a flower, then my mother is that sweet flower of love.--Stevie Wonder To a child’s ear, “mother” is magic in any language.--Arlene Benedict Youth fades, love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; a mother’s secret hope outlives them all.--Oliver Wendell Holmes A mother is the truest friend we have when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.--Washington Irving God sees us through our mothers’ eyes and rewards us for our virtues.--Ganeshan Venkatarman Mother is the bank where we deposit all our hurts and worries.--Unknown My mother’s love for me was so great I have worked hard to justify it.--Marc Chagall No influence is so powerful as that of the mother.--Sarah Josepha Hale The strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.--Barbara Kingsolver Mothers are instinctive philosophers.--Harriet Beecher Stowe A good mother is worth hundreds of schoolmasters.--George Herbert The mother’s heart is the child’s schoolroom.--Henry Ward Beecher Mother-love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible.--Unknown A mother loves her children even when they least deserve to be loved.--Kate Samperi Mother is the one we count on for the things that matter most of all.--Katharine Butler Hathaway A mother understands what a child does not say.--Jewish proverb All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual, and physical education I received from her.--George Washington The noblest calling in the world is that of a mother. True motherhood is the most beautiful of all arts, the greatest of all professions. She who can paint a masterpiece or write a book that will influence millions deserves the plaudits and admiration of mankind, but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters whose immortal souls will be exerting an influence throughout the ages, long after paintings shall have faded and books and statues shall have been destroyed, deserves the highest honor that man can give.--David O. McKay Taken from Activated magazine. Used with permission. |
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