Appreciating our Children

Linda and Richard Eyre, Teaching Children Joy

Adults often bristle when someone remarks that they are “just like so-and-so.” We like to think of ourselves as unique, different, and one-of-a-kind, which is how it is meant to be. It is good to remember that there is much more to what makes a person a unique individual than, for example, the obvious characteristics of a person’s astrological sign, their interests, the number of children they have, or the type of clothes that they wear.

In a similar fashion, parents should learn to appreciate the uniqueness that each child brings to their lives. Each child needs to feel special and important in his or her own right. Seeing each child as an individual with varying likes and dislikes, will help to make the child feel loved for who he is and is meant to be. 

Here are some tips on how we can encourage our children’s unique qualities and
characteristics:

• Know each child well as an individual. We can’t help a child build confidence around his inherent gifts and talents unless we come to know what those gifts and talents are. Two ways to learn: (1) In private chats with the child, time spent together watching and appreciating; and (2) in organized time, as parents [or in parent-teacher meetings], discussing each child, sharing perceptions, taking notes, discovering together more about the personality and individual character of each child.

• Genuinely respect each child and his own gifts. Our children are human beings, deserving not only our love but also our respect. With this thought in mind, it becomes easier to: (1) show an added measure of faith in them after any kind of failure; (2) discuss our own failures with them and tell them what we learned; (3) praise their accomplishments lavishly and honestly; and (4) never criticize or belittle our children personally. We should make sure they are always secure in our love for them. We should never criticize in public.—Praise in public, correct in private.

• [Teach] independence, self-reliance, and responsibility at an early age.  Confidence and its joy tie directly into being able to do useful things. Each child should have a job in the family to contribute—particularly daily or weekly jobs—for which he is praised and made to feel capable and important.

Ponder: Take time to reflect on each of your children’s qualities and strengths. Make a list of these qualities and focus on encouraging and praising your children for them.

Text courtesy of Motivated magazine. Used with permission. Photo by Patrick via Flickr.