How to Build Strong Single Parent Families

Sandra J. Bailey

Research shows that successful single-parent families have the following 
characteristics:

1. Parents accept the challenges presented to them as single parents and they are determined to do their best.

2. Single parents make parenting their first priority.

3. Discipline is consistent and democratic. Parents are neither permissive nor too 
restrictive.

4. Parents emphasize open communication and expression of feelings.

5. Parents recognize the need to care for themselves.

6. Parents develop or maintain traditions and rituals for their families.

7. Parents become financially self-sufficient and independent.

8. Parents move forward with their lives in a positive manner.

9. Parents are successful in managing family time and activities.

The same characteristics that make single-parent families strong are found in strong families in general. In Secrets of Strong Families, John Defrain and Nick Stinnett identified six characteristics of strong families as follows:

1. Family members spend quality time with one another.

Find time to spend with your children each day.

•  Read together
  

• Prepare meals together
  

• Ride a bike or walk the dog together
  
• Build in family fun weekends or trips.
  
• Go camping, fishing, or hiking
  
• Attend a sporting event
  
• Go to a museum
  
• Visit friends or relatives
  

2. Strong families are committed to one another.

• Discover and encourage your children’s activities and interests.
  
• Remind children that you are there for them.
  
• Work together to solve problems.
  

3. Family members show each other appreciation.

• Tell your children that you love them.
  
• Say thank you when they complete family chores.
  
• Leave notes of appreciation for family members.
  

4. Communication skills are good in strong families.

• Use “I” statements when working through problems. For example, “I get worried when you don’t come home on time. I need you to call if you won’t make your curfew.”
  
• Ask your children about their day using questions that require more than a one-word response. For example “What was the best part of your day today?”
  
• Avoid interrupting one another and really listen when others are talking.
  
• Turn off the television and eat dinner together.
  

5. Crises and stress are viewed as opportunities for growth.

• Work on handling your own stress in a positive manner to provide a model for your children.
  
• Use community resources to get help.
  
• Encourage one another throughout a crisis.
  
• Talk about what will be learned from the experience and how that can strengthen the family.
  

6. Family members value spirituality.

• Discuss your family views on spirituality.
  
• Practice your family’s view on spirituality whether it is appreciating nature by hiking or camping or attending organized religious activities.
  

No family is perfect and there is no one right way to be a family. Think about what is important for your family. Assess your family and plan ways to strengthen it. Use the six characteristics of strong families as a guide.

Excerpted from http://singleparentsnetwork.com/Articles/Detailed/245.html